Nobody likes to hear lame excuses, and pretty much that's what I have here.
I do have perfectly reasonable and easy to explain excuses, but nothing helps when you have disappointed any number of people who are counting on you to be there.
Plus, it makes me look bad, like I don't take this job seriously or worse, that it is not important to me. BAD, bad, bad on me. Especially since the Feature Friday call is VERY important to me, personally and professionally. I like the people and the host, Lamar J. Morgan, who is possibly the most generous person of the face of this earth.
Both last week and this week were cause and effect. Both incredibly embarrassing.
Russ is handicapped and takes some very strong anti-seizure medications too. He has been ill (for lack of a better term) for 17 years this coming May. I keep his drugs and my own separated and put them into different types of containers when it's time to take them.
Last week, on Thursday night, I chucked down his instead of mine. I knew immediately when I set that plastic cup on the counter it was the wrong empty cup.
I quickly sat down and posted that I might not be on the Feature Friday call in the morning.
I thought maybe by morning the drugs would be out of my system and I might be in good enough shape to show up for the call so I'm sure I sounded wish-washy on that point.
Little did I know.
Half an hour later --- not only was I drunk, woozy, dizzy, unstable, unsteady on my feet (when I managed to stand at all) seeing double and triple, I was often nauseous. My lips, face and hands were numb, uh dead, the first 34 hours or so. I did not actually blow chunks, but boy it was close a few times. This 'effect' that I thought might skee-daddle overnight lasted until about noon on SUNDAY.
What an alcoholic would call a "lost weekend." Of course, after that first 34 hours things started to get better. I could pick up and hold a glass, for which I was humbly grateful. Because by Saturday morning I was becoming quite dehydrated.
I do not know how anyone could be on these drugs and not be a blithering idiot 24/7. Of course, Russ out weights me by oh, about 100 lbs, and is about a foot taller. He can manage the dosage. He is fine taking these drugs. I, on the other hand was a melting, drooling, moron.
This week 03-28-14 -- LAME Excuse #2
As bad as last weekend was, I did not go to bed that Sunday night. I did lay down for about an hour, but I did not sleep. I was mortified that I had lost the weekend; let everyone down the previous Friday when I was too sick (self induced druggedness) to be on the Feature Friday call. OH, one more thing, Russ had surgery scheduled for 7:30 a.m. on Monday morning. Yeah, no kidding.
He has a Baclofen Pump inside his body and it runs on a battery. Battery life is about 5-7 years and it was time for a new pump. This is his 4th pump, so we know the drill, we've been there 3 times before. I spent the afternoon and evening packing his bag even though he was not staying overnight. There were still things we needed to have with us and, you know, checking all the paperwork, etc. He came through fine. :)
On Tuesday I had a major, life changing decision to make. Life changing because it twisted my gut in knots to have to think about this in the first place.
Leaving this position would let down some people I care about. It would mean that some people I was helping might not be able to get what they needed if I was not on the job. After another sleep deprived (a few hours sleep though) night on Tuesday, I knew I had to quit my volunteer position for Prairieland Food.
On Wednesday, I made a list of the 87 websites that link to Prairieland Food; 2 blogs; local website; 22 social media accounts; 35 directories; I did not even count the blog posts; and tried to figure out when I would have time to unwind myself and my company's from my ties to Prairieland Food. It's been a lot of years. Another very sleep deprived night.
On Thursday evening I started cleaning out a file cabinet and boxes of old Prairieland Food paperwork. I only need to pass along the last year of stuff so the rest is trash. I didn't have enough dumpster room. Sigh. Sleep?
I do not set an alarm on my clock for two reasons. 1 - I cannot hear it, as I have become somewhat hearing impaired; tones and pitch mostly; ok, volume too. And 2 - Because I am one of those people with an internal clock. At 5:00 a.m. my eyes pop open, my feet hit the floor and I am UP. Sometimes I get up so fast, I have a dizzy spell and have to sit down again.
When my phone rang at 7:36 a.m. Friday morning and woke me, I was shocked to roll over and see the bright red numbers on the clock face. When I heard Lamar's voice, I thought I would fall out of bed.
I think I began speaking with "OH MY GOD LAMAR! I missed the call, NO, I did not miss the call. OMG! I missed the call!" Seriously, my brain could not register that I had actually slept away practically the whole morning.
It was not possible. I do not do that. THIS is what happens when you have a long, over-stressful week full of lists of work that mostly did NOT get done (for previously stated reasons) and add to it a very sad (and truly depressing) occurrence (Prairieland Food).
Lamar was very gracious. He had been worried about me. He really cares about people. (And I had selfishly overslept - SH**)
With all that said --
I profusely and honestly apologize to you all.
I think I am going to have Lamar call me, just in case, at 7:00 a.m. his FL time.
That's 6:00 a.m. my KS time, from now on, if he doesn't mind, just in case.
Sounds like a plan. Agreed?
Lame Excuse #1 --- "I took some bad drugs!"
People get fired on the spot for this and sometimes arrested too.
Lame Excuse #2 --- "I overslept! It's not like I killed somebody!"
People get fired for this too. Then they try to kill somebody.